I haven't written anything in ages.
Summer makes me so lethargic.
I keep telling myself I'm going to start writing again, finish the billion-and-one art projects that have remained halfway done since January, get someone to fix the oven so it no longer catches fire when I'm trying to bake cupcakes, find nuclear waste and acquire super powers/die horribly in the process, etc.
I've been putting it all off.
BUT TODAY WILL BE DIFFERENT. I WILL ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT AND CAPS LOCK WILL HELP ME DO SO.
For you see, I am going to write a story entirely off the top of my head.
There once was a koala bear named Manny who had severe anger issues. His anger issues stemmed from a deep-seated hatred of ignorant people calling koalas "bears" when they are, in fact, marsupials.
However, Manny, like everyone else in the world, was also annoyed by more common issues. For instance, traffic jams, bug bites, and people who make weird whistling noises while chewing. He was also irritated by lazy, pseudo-intellectual teenage girls who claim to love writing, but then sit on their butts for months giggling at lolcats and not writing a single thing.
Manny was so annoyed by this that he used his Koala Kung Fu (I am pretty sure that's a thing) to beat the bejeebus out of all of those lazy, pseudo-intellectual aspiring teenage writers that I had mentioned earlier and motivated them through fear and their love of adorable animals to write more often, and less crappily.
Manny the unnecessarily angry koala may be a recurring character around these parts. WHO KNOWS? CAPS LOCKS AND I ARE FEELIN' PRETTY CRAZY TODAY, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
Actually, I do know what's going to happen.
I am going to stop typing and bid you adieu, my lovely Blog and my lovely reader(s.)